At the end of yesterday’s post, I asked you to share what you’ve been watching, listening to, and/or reading. Last night, Kerry sent me an email reminding me that my blog requires everyone to be logged in first.

I understand that creating a login just to post the occasional comment is annoying (I don’t remember half of my passwords and I don’t expect you to) so Tom has modified the comment section. From now on, the registration and login is no longer required. However, if you aren’t registered, your comment will sit in a little queue for me to approve. The website will send me a little email telling me your comment is waiting and, once I approve it, then your comment will appear.

The short version of that is: Mom, you can now post comments.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Just FYI, here’s my current entertainment.

What I’m listening to:

What I’m watching:

Unfortunately at my house, it’s reality TV nonstop until something new and exciting comes out. I’m currently pining for season 4 of “The IT Crowd“.

What I’m reading:

What are you currently listening to/reading/watching? Let me know…

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated my blog. I’m around and have been working away like a busy bee, but haven’t really felt a strong need to blog. I want to get back into it and I do have lots of food photos to share.

I’ve also been working on my first novel. Oddly enough, I posted exactly a year ago saying I was almost finished with this book. And I was. Sort of. Because this is my first novel, I really wanted to take my time and do as good of a job as I could. Nearly every day, as Tom can attest, I’ve worked on this thing. It’s been written 3 times — last year when I posted, I had only written it twice. Every time I rewrote the story, I learned a ton about writing.

This final version is the final and best version, and I am going to submit it to some agents to see what happens. I feel stressed, but what do I have to lose? The worst (and most likely) outcome is that they will say no. If that happens, I’ll go another route – self publishing or internet or whatever.

At the time of this post, I have two chapters left to write and then I need to go through and finish my edits. The first three chapters are pretty much done and I’ve been passing them around. I even already have fans in my church, if you can believe that. It’s a weird feeling to know that I have fans, but it’s really encouraged me.

The book is called “The Fourth Channel” (sorry, I don’t know how to underline in HTML) and if you’re interested in taking a peek at the first chapter, post a comment below or send me an email.

I’m very excited about having this book done. Already my brain is churning over the next book, which is actually the practice book I had been working on before this one. A few days ago, I woke up at 3AM, and the first chapter just hit me. The idea is an exciting new and gritty start to the story, giving it a whole new flavor and tons of possibilities, and I’m excited to get going. Now that I’ve learned so much working on this current book, I expect new projects to go a lot faster. At least, I hope.

In gaming news, I’m sure it hasn’t escaped anyone’s attention that I disappeared from WoW yet again. Sorry. I’ve been playing a PS3 game called Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice. It’s a strategy game, which appeals to me because I loved Final Fantasy Tactics. Disgaea is similar in that it’s a strategy game, but it’s like FFT on crack. So when I’m playing games, I’ve been playing that. Maybe I’ll get back into WoW, but I think I’m nurturing a healthy fear of Sabe hitting level 80 and, if I invest a couple more hours into her, that’s what she’ll be.

And yes, she’s still dressed like the Ghost of Arenas Past.

My sound room is also done. In my spare time (har) I’ve been working on elements for a music project that is going to be coming very soon. Not much to say about that yet, but soon.

More to come, and hopefully some food related topics! Tom and I have a lot of cookouts and BBQ’s on the social calendar so I’ll have a wealth of photos and recipes to share… So stay tuned.

Hey, here’s a public announcement just for giggles: If you get into a relationship with a married man who gets caught, you have NO reason to complain and demand a personal apology. You’re a slut and no one cares about your feelings — except Jesus, and that’s only because he wants you to stop acting like a slut, too.

This morning, I woke up to warm sunshine – a treat we haven’t had much of in the last few months. Wanting to enjoy it as much as possible, I got out of bed, grabbed my laptop and went downstairs. I made a strong Americano and parked in the dining room, where I had a very productive couple of hours working on my book.

In the morning, when the sun is shining, the dining room is my favorite spot in the house. I love how the sun comes in through our tall window and alights the wall.

It’s hard to see it in this photo, unfortunately, because the sun hits the wall behind the chair. But this is my setup this morning, facing the large, open window…

…where I can watch the squirrels taunt my cat. Three of them were running around this morning, and the fattest one kept stopping on the porch, strutting up close to the window, and showing off. Maggie-Toes was going crazy, trying hard to get through the glass.

Maybe next time, attack cat.

The ice is finally starting to melt. Here’s a shot from my front door. I’m hoping that the snow, for the most part, is over.

Probably not, though. We’re talking about New York.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two months late. My only excuse is that I haven’t downloaded photos from our digital camera since September! I know that isn’t a very good excuse and I am endeavoring to use the camera more this year.

So for Thanksgiving (way back in November), I went home to see my family. Before I moved to upstate New York, I lived in north Seattle, but originally I am from Tacoma (specifically a suburb called University Place). It’s about 45 – 60 minutes south of Seattle. My parents bought the house when I was 1 year old and they’ve been living in that house ever since.

This was the first family gathering since Tom and I were married five years ago, so we were all really excited to see each other. I think Team Williams had the most fun we’ve ever had together, so maybe the old adage is true: Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Hopefully we won’t wait another five years to test that out.

Tom and I arrived at the airport the night before Thanksgiving. Neall had already arrived a couple of hours prior and was hanging out at the airport until we got there, just so our parents wouldn’t have to make two separate trips. He’s very thoughtful.

I’m happy to say that I got to make the majority of the Thanksgiving dinner this year. Mom and I had such a great time, and everything was did was really low key, so we could enjoy the day without rushing around. We made Alton Brown’s brined turkey, garlic smashed potatoes, a delicious baked stuffing from Cook’s Illustrated that involves sausage and golden raisins, and a sweet & tart cranberry dressing from Bon Appetit. Just about everything on the menu was new — I was going for the non-traditional Williams dinner this year, just to break everyone out of their food comfort zone.

Of course, Dad requires his creamed peas and pearl onions, but I wasn’t going anywhere near that. I let Mom handle it.

We had a lot of fun, dinner was a huge success, and I think that’s the longest we’ve all ever sat around the dinner table just talking and enjoying each other’s company. And that’s weird. Usually we can’t wait to run away and do our own thing. This year it was different. This year, we were a real family. I had a great time.

Mom gave the wishbone to Neall and me, but it hadn’t had a chance to fully dry and it slipped out of my fingers. I guess that means Neall wins by default. Ha!

Zoolights is a big local tradition. Every winter, the zoo is fully decorated from top to bottom with colored holiday lights. I mean to tell you, this place is a total spectacle.

Photos don’t do it justice. It’s totally dark out (and a little wet and rainy!) and the whole place is lit by millions and millions of holiday lights. You just walk along the paths and enjoy.

Tom took a shot of Mom, Neall and me before we set off on our trip. I wish some of the photos had come out better, but that would have required use of the flash and that cancels out the magnificence of the light display.

Click for bigger versions if you want to see the family shots. I kept them small because if you aren’t in my family, these just aren’t as big of a deal. Feel free to skip right through them.

You also need a big cup of hot chocolate for the walk. It’s a must. Concession stand hot chocolate courtesy of my brother. He’s awesome.

Dad was pretty tired and wasn’t able to come along with us, but the rest of us had a ball.

Here’s one of the four of us – I’m never too shy to ask a total stranger to take a picture for me!

Due to the flash used in this photo, I look like I’m possessed.

Of course, there’s always a kid-friendly component to Zoolights. The kid’s area is always left open and, at that time of night, the Meerkats were out and having a grand time.

I had a hard time pulling Tom away from the Meerkats. In fact, I consider myself lucky that I didn’t find a couple in our suitcases when we got home!

Here’s a couple more random shots of the zoo…

All in all, we had a fantastic time, and I’m really hoping we can make it out for another holiday next year… Tom, wink wink, nudge nudge…

Har.

Over the last couple of weeks, the same theme has been recurring: I have a control issue. As in, I have a hard time relinquishing control.

I know. What a shock. Hope you were sitting down.

People always talk about giving God control of your life. Theories abound on what that means and how to practice it. Over the years, I’ve tossed and turned over my own philosophy on the matter and, unbeknownst to me until recently, I had settled on one. The philosophy was a statement made by a friend of my mother’s when I was a young teenager. I remember the discussion like it was yesterday. We were sitting in my parents’ living room, and she said to me, “It doesn’t matter what you do in life, because if God wants you to become something or to do something, it will happen. He’s God. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do.”

The reason it struck me so severely is because it filled me with despair. Though I can strongly argue against that statement, it stuck with me and became the foundation of nearly everything I did in life for the next 20 years.

Of course that philosophy is false. Moses didn’t want to go back to Egypt and confront the Pharaoh. According to scripture, he was afraid. So what happened? Did God turn Moses into an automaton and force him to go and carry out divine will? No! The God of all creation stood around arguing about it, listening to Moses’ many, many fears and responding to each one. After God provided answers and miraculous signs for all of Moses’ questions, Moses still begged to send someone else:

But Moses said, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. But take this staff in your hand so you can perform miraculous signs with it.” Exodus 4:13 – 17

For some reason we hone in on the anger of God in this passage and minimize everything after it. Often, the lesson incorrectly taught here is that you shouldn’t make God angry. If God asks, be a good corporate citizen and do what you’re told! Forget your own feelings, slave – God has given you a directive!

But that’s not really what’s happening. Sure, God wants us to do what he asks, but he cares about our feelings, too. There’s a reason the Holy Spirit is also called “Helper” and not “Slave Driver”. Here’s the scenario: God’s the dad trying to get his kid on a bike for the first time. The kid is scared and doesn’t want to fall or lose control or get hurt. God gives the kid a helmet, pads, training wheels and, though it’s still super scary, God promises he’ll hold onto the bike and won’t let go. And it still just wasn’t enough for Moses.

“Can’t you get someone else to ride this bike, Dad?”

So God was frustrated – but he didn’t give up on Moses! As it turned out, Moses’ brother, Aaron, was already on the way, so God sent them both. Aaron drove the bike and Moses rode shotgun.

More importantly, Moses wasn’t forced to stay in the passenger seat after that, showing us that God’s desire and plans for Moses weren’t revoked, even though he was being a pain in the butt about trying out the new, shiny bike God picked up for him.

So back to the original topic of not giving God control of our lives. Does it matter? What does it mean to give God control of your life? What does that look like? Despite the illustration above, I still didn’t know. After all, He is God. If he wants something to happen, then he’s big enough to make it happen. He created spacetime, for crying out loud, so he should be able to do minor crap, too. It shouldn’t matter what I do, right?

And that’s what I was pondering… Until Tuesday.

On Tuesday morning, I was on my way to work, per usual. I got onto I-590. It has three lanes: The far right lane continues on 590 toward Buffalo. The middle lane splits and can either continue to Buffalo or become the onramp to I-490 east – which is what I need. The far left lane becomes the onramp to I-490 west. Traffic heading to Buffalo typically slows down the freeway, so anyone who needs 490 usually gets over into the far left lane to get around it and then, just as the road splits three ways, anyone needing the middle lane just gets over. And that’s what I did on Tuesday, just as I always did. I didn’t like the slow traffic heading to Buffalo, so I got over into the far left and went around the slow traffic. Eventually, I see the middle lane is speeding up earlier than usual. I’m in sight of the ramp to 490, so it’s pretty close anyway. I get over.

As soon as I do, red lights flared and traffic slowed way down. Screw that. I jumped back over into the far left lane and, as soon as I did, the lane I just got out of sped up. A lot. The three cars that were in front of me were all going straight, trapping me in the far left lane, heading east. I’m about to head in the opposite direction that I needed to go in. This had never happened to me before! I was shocked! I slowed down. I noticed an open spot for me to get over soon. Relief! I was ready to swerve over – but someone a few cars behind me was doing the same thing I was and got over into the middle lane, blocking me again.

I had to stop on the onramp.

I know. I couldn’t believe myself, either. Usually, in order to avoid an accident, I would have kept going and turned around at the next exit. In fact, I remember thinking how shocked I was at my own behavior! I don’t know what got into me! Cars behind me were piling up, flashing headlights, honking horns, and getting mad and I can’t say that I blamed them. Finally, a spot opened up and I got over.

After I merged onto 490 safely and quietly and in the direction I needed, it struck me: That little scene was a metaphor for my life. When I take control, thinking I have a faster or better means to an end, I get stuck and end up going in the wrong direction. That’s why God asks us to give him control.

So how do we do that? Often, we feel that we have to do something or, even more dangerous, stop doing everything. But that’s not how anything is done in the Kingdom of God. Not even salvation, the most important start of our lives, is accomplished by any physical act other than a word of acknowledgment: We pray. So, we simply say, “I don’t know how to give you control, but it’s yours, God.”

And now we have faith – not in our ability to follow Christ, but in his ability to lead us in the right direction on the roads of life.

HELL YES. Used to watch the original cartoon with my brother every Sunday…

Just want to say Happy New Year to all of my family and friends. Like everyone else, I have just a couple of… well, I don’t know if I’d call them resolutions, per say. I equate resolutions with “giving up chocolate” (which you know I’m not going to do) and “losing 10 pounds” (I like food too much to say that without laughing). This year, I’m putting some very realistic goals on the calendar.

1. Finish two books and have them available for readership via the web. One will probably be available for purchase on lulu.
2. Write and record a record. (Construction on my studio begins soon – woo!)

I hope you challenge yourself with at least one life goal this year (maximum of 3 – make it attainable!) and do your best to form a plan to accomplish it – then put it into action! Life is for living, so let’s get to it.

I love you all. (Except Ed. You suck. <3 )

~Jen

If you’ve been following my twitter feed or have talked to me in the last couple of days, you’ve already heard the news, though it’s worth it for me to say again: A home for Jonah has been found.

Thanks to Tom’s parents, on Saturday night we gussied Jonah up as best we could (via a hefty handful of nice-smelling kitty wipes, a pair of scissors to hack off his hairballs, and a thorough brushing) and drove him to Tom’s sister’s house. The resident mastiff seemed very confused about the fat, fuzzy thing gobbling up the dog kibble, but the kids loved him. We are hopeful that this will be a good relationship.

And me? Well, I’ve been cleaning like a crazy person. This morning when I got up and saw my house was still clean, I almost cried. Despite being separated from her housemate of three years, Maggie-Toes (who I am now referring to as Maggie Dubois after Natalie Wood’s character in The Great Race) is doing very well. She’s finally getting the attention she deserves and has the run of the house, minus the computer room.

I know this sounds horrible, but I don’t miss Jonah at all. I’m praying all goes well with him at the new home because I don’t think I could handle taking him back. We’re finally free and Jonah has the active and large home he deserves.