I know what you’re thinking: AGAIN?

Yeah, and unfortunately I don’t have any screenshots. As I said earlier, I’ve been wanting to play some new games and have been tinkering around with a few others. Inexplicably, I loaded up Hellgate again. And every day, Tom would say, “Oh, so you’re playing that game that you hate?”

Yep.

So I made another sword chick and started chopping up post-apocalyptic London. Her name: SnoCone. (Pink Cupcake was taken by another toon, so I had to go with SnoCone.) Things were going relatively well for an entire 30 levels — yes, I was level 30! Then I got to the final “Test” quest, where you take control of an obnoxiously inept robot and blast your way through a street. When you get the robot to the end of the street, regardless of whether or not you killed anything at all in your path, you win, hooray.

Only I was so annoyed with said inept robot that I clicked the option to exit the robot and restart the quest. I ended up back at the beginning of the street, out of the robot. And that was fine except that I HAD NO BODY. No matter what I did, I had no body. I was just a mindless essence floating around, unable to do anything. I couldn’t even get into the portal. So I quit out of the game and when I came back… My quest log showed I was in the middle of the quest and NOTHING would let me get back into the robot, because apparently the game thought I was still inside the robot. I killed everything on my own and ran to the end of the street, stood in the portal where the robot is supposed to go… Nothing. Needless to say, this is one of those disastrous, show-stopping bugs that the game was so widely criticized for.

So I did the desperate thing that you know you are absolutely NOT supposed to do (I don’t even know why they make it an allowable option): I abandoned the main story quest line.

Which abandoned everything I had done up until that point. There is no way to get the original quest back, because the original quest line begins in a small training area that is closed off once you leave the area.

Level 30! No way to progress the game any further!!! What a piece of crap!!!!!! And you know what the worst part of all is????

I started a new swordmaster named SlapChop.

You’re right, you’re right. I should have named her MissParsley.