Miss Macchiato

It’s time for a recurring article on my blog that I think should be done to help me get things out of my system. It’s called “What’s Annoying Jen?” This way I can vent to all of you about what’s irritating the crap out of me. There are actually a lot of things, but right now I can only put my finger on one thing. So let’s get into it and I’ll post more as more things occur to me. Here’s what’s currently irritating me:

Twilight Movie/Book

This movie/book and their drugged-out looking star is so insanely awesome. I mean, I remember when I was 17, I was so mature and awesome and had so many non-annoying things to say that a dude over 100 years old would want nothing more than to spend every waking second with me, listening to me yammer on about whatever I thought was important. Like, I dunno, probably my hair. Like, that’s realistic, ya know? An old dude who stalks minors — we have someone like that already, and his name is Michael Jackson. Hell, that’s probably why this character watches the chick in her sleep, because it’s the only time she isn’t annoying.

I’m sick of seeing this Pattinson or Patterson or Petticoat or whatever, because his face is everywhere. Somebody get this guy a bath and a haircut. I don’t get why little girls are losing their cookies over this dude, because he wouldn’t be able to get my top off.

I’m just sayin.

I’ve never read these Twilight books – a while back I saw them at the bookstore, read the jacket and was completely uninterested. This doesn’t mean the books are bad, it just means it didn’t interest me. I prefer more action or comedy than I do some goofy romance that makes no sense to my brain. Maybe I’m just not that romantic. Call me crazy if you will, but the next time my spouse says he’d rather suck out my blood than sleep with me, I’m packing my crap and Maggie-Toes (he can keep the retarded cat as further punishment) and I’m moving away.