So, Tom and I have never really been anywhere cool together. Last year we went to Ocean City in Maryland and, though it was nice to get away and lay on the beach, it didn’t quite live up to the hype.

Don’t get me wrong - we had a great time and loved escaping to a sunny beach, just the two of us. But the area is getting older and run down, and we can’t live off of fried or fast food because it makes us sick. Sorry, Bahama Mama. I hear you have the best take-out crabs in town, but we could only stomach so much.

Honestly, in order to keep ourselves from getting sick, we typically handled lunch, snacks, and some breakfasts on our own by picking up some things at a local grocery store, and preparing them in the kitchenette of our hotel. It was also a little cheaper, but mainly it was healthier. I can’t eat like I did in my twenties.

This year, we really wanted something special and memorable. Since we never really had a honeymoon, Tom wanted to make up for it and do something memorable. Originally we checked into cruises, but with the hassle of passports we decided hey, let’s just head to St. Thomas for a week!

And that’s what we’re doing. The resorts out there have nifty all-inclusive packages that include gift cards for additional activities and shopping. I’m looking forward to this as it’s been a tremendously draining year for me, and school starts again in less than four weeks. As it is, I’m ignoring some of my responsibilities and some of the things I was supposed to take care of for church are not done. I feel horrible for not having done much with them, because people are counting on me to get them done. But I just can’t. My battery needs recharging.

According to the resort’s website, activities like snorkeling are free! For some reason I’m all hot about snorkeling. When I went to Hawaii with my family a few years ago, I had the best time snorkeling with my brother and my dad. Yeah, I’m a nerd. I love aquariums, too. So when Tom asked what I wanted to do on a vacation, the only thing I could think of was snorkeling. Oh, and of course, I want to read a bunch of books. You know me - sitting on an exotic beach, smothered in a metric ton of sunblock under a hat, an umbrella with a stack of books. I’m a party animal.

The only concern I’m having at this point is finding someone to take care of Maggie-Toes.

Okay, maybe Jonah, too. We keep trying to get him to run away, but so far, no dice. Hey, do you guys know of anyone who wants a fat and irregularly-stupid cat? If so, call me.

We’re thinking about getting an automatic feeder and automatic waterer (not a word, but you get the idea). But then we would need someone to come over in the evenings to check on them, scoop cat poop and get our mail. I was going to hit up some people at church to see if their kids wouldn’t mind doing it for a few bucks. It’s a good summer job for responsible kids who aren’t old enough to babysit.

We’ll see. Everything else is pretty much worked out - even church worship, which is a huge relief. The only thing left to do on my end is pick out that big stack of books I’ll be bringing…

Twice a year the CIOs of the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association come together at a three day offsite and discuss everything that’s going on in their respective Health Plans. It happens every year and my boss has been attending them since he started working here, even before he was CIO. This Fall, the BCBSA CIO Roundtable is going to be held in Alaska, about an hour away from Anchorage.

Previously, I handled all of my boss’ travel on my own. Basically this just means that I would call the company travel agency who had his profile on file, and I would make arrangements directly with them. Well recently, the Powers That Be decided there were too many departments making travel arrangements on their own and started cracking down: All travel requests needed to be directed through one travel person who works for the company, and they arrange it with the travel agency. Basically they’re enforcing a middleman.

So, okay, I’m a team player. I receive the information for the upcoming roundtable and forward it to the middleman we will refer to as Travel Dude - TD for short. In the email I include our cost center so he can bill the trip, dates, the general time that my boss would like to arrive and depart, and so forth. Everything that TD could possibly want is in the email. I ask him to please book my boss a flight and reserve a hotel and get back to me.

Two weeks go by and no word from TD, even though I have been following up via phone and email.

This past Thursday, I finally get a response from TD: Please send me the dates.

The dates were already in there! So I email him back and say that rather politely. “Hello (TD), the dates are below. Thank you.”

I hear nothing for the rest of the day and nothing Friday. What I really wish I could do is at least reserve the hotel room, but Finance screwed up my boss’ corporate credit card and he didn’t get a replacement for the expired one. I’m still waiting. I told them about it a month ago and they said they were having another one sent to me ASAP. Two weeks later they called me and said they didn’t actually believe my boss’ card was expired. I read off the statement and they said, “Oh. Well, ok. We’ll send you one.”

I work with geniuses. But this is why I did not reserve a hotel room for my boss - no card to book it, and Tom would have a heart attack if he saw that deposit on our credit card. So my hands are tied.

So the last communication I had with TD was Thursday. Today is Monday. I get a phone call from TD asking me what is going on with the trip. Um, what? I say I am not sure and am waiting to hear back from him.

He asks me the following: What dates? Where is the conference? What cost center?

All of this is in the email, so I give him the answers right away. Because, you know, I can read. Immediately he starts balking at making the reservation. He says he doesn’t know where that is, he doesn’t even know what airport that goes into, he needs me to do all the legwork in telling him this information, including what time zone so he can work out the flights (I have no clue why he would need the time zone).

Again, most of this information was sent to him. I answer his questions, and say the airport is Anchorage.

Still the questions are coming - and all of the answers are either in the email or were given to him at the beginning of the call. TD sounds completely annoyed, and finally asks me where I’m finding all of this information. I say: It’s in the email.

He looks. The email says to book the hotel by a certain date or the group rate will be released and we’ll have to pay full price. He reads that off to me and says accusingly, “Well we blew this date out of the water.”

Like this is my fault?

But I remain calm. I really need to have this trip booked. So now he’s reading the email and he’s seeing the city names and he flips out.

TD: “I can’t book this unless it’s approved by (executive person’s name).”

Now I’m more than a little ticked off, because this executive approves all international travel, including anyone who needs to drive a few hours north to Canada. But we aren’t talking about Canada. As politely as possible, I ask why. Here it comes.

TD: “All international travel must be pre-approved. And while you’re getting the approval you need to check on (your boss’) passport.”

I almost threw the phone across my cube.

Me: “To Alaska? I’m pretty sure it’s ok, because it’s a state.” (pause) “Of the United States.” (another pause) “Of which we are citizens.”

TD: “Anchorage is –”

Me: “No.”

TD: “But you have to –”

I know what he’s going to say: You have to fly over Canada, which is another country. Oh my God, please, no. I can’t bear to hear him say it. I interrupt.

Me: “You don’t need a passport to Alaska.”

(Pause.)

TD: “Oh. Okay.”

I received flight options less than 5 minutes later.